Self-worth and Value

I have often pondered what is the meaning of self-worth, self esteem and self love.  I get the impression that many people think these concepts are very similar.  But I see self-worth as something very different to self-esteem.  I find the concept of self-worth the most intriguing.  I believe it is related to the concept of value.  

On a grand scale, this tiny planet Is an insignificant speck in an enormous universe. To illustrate, there are about  200 billion stars in the Milky Way which in turn seems to be part of a universe of 100 billion galaxies.  So our individual lives are insignificant in comparison to the enormity of a massive universe.  Yet, by law and convention, the value of a human life, at least in this tiny parish of the universe has been determined to be infinite, at least in theory.  This is illustrated by the sanctions on murder. The murder of a king or the murder of a begger, are in most law systems equally punishable. 

In fact, every human being has in theory an equal right to experience life.  And that experience consists of sensations, feelings, thoughts and consciousness.  Any attempt to deprive a human of these things is considered illegal and the deprivation of all of them is murder.

Therefore every person has the right to experience through thoughts,feelings and sensations.  As a society we know that the removing of such things is detrimental to freedom and life itself.

So how does this relate to self-worth?  

Well I believe that humans need to be  appraised of their infinite worth, by convention.  That means from childhood, parents and carers need to teach children that their feelings, thoughts and sensations are the basis of their consciousness and life; and that they are valued. 

If children are taught to reject their own experiences, thoughts and feelings, it means they are taught that they are not valuable. If children are not valued in a real, obvious  and direct, way,  they will never understand their own value, and they will struggle to understand their worth.  The problem with not understanding your worth is that you end up allowing others, or even encouraging others to treat you as an individual of low worth.  That includes slavery, physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse, staying in unequal relationships, supporting abusive partners,and so forth.  It also involves withdrawal from sources of nurturance and help, avoiding love and friendships and being narcissistic.

If you find yourself being subservient to another, permitting abuse directed at yourself, allowing others to use you, or constantly take from your pool of resources, it is probably because you have low self worth and have never been appraised of your infinite worth.  Similarly, if you are obsessed with your looks, your clothing, your hair, your physical appearance, weight and so forth, then you are not valuing yourself, but instead the imagined image of yourself.  

The great thing about human value and the right to be,  is that you have nothing to do with it in the sense that it cannot be earned, nor can it be lost.  Every human has, by convention (and also in many religious traditions), incalculable worth or value.  Hence, the severest prohibitions on murder. The murder of the lowest of the low is potentially as punishable as the murder of a king.

So what if you have low self-worth?  What can you do?  Quite frankly nothing, in the sense of increasing your worth.  All you can do is realise worth, or not realise it.  That does not change your inalienable right to think, feel and be, regardless of who you are or what you have done. Therefore, developing self worth is really a process of realisation, rather than a doing of something.  It's about believing that you are valuable, incalculably so, and that there is nothing anyone can do to take that away, including yourself.