On the one hand, texting is a form of telepathy, allowing the owner of a mobile/cell phone to instant influence on the thoughts of someone who may be as close as the next room, or someone as far away as a different continent. It allows us to plan our social lives, notify us of important matters in a very short space of time and to spread information quickly and efficiently. However, texting is not suitable for sharing emotional information, or communicating who we truly are, in most cases.
This is because communication is a multilayered process which is partly dependent on a relationship. Most people understand communication using a conduit model. To explain, they see communication as a simple coding and decoding process, equated with information exchange. Often, the relationship between two people is negated in this process. And everyone knows that relationships are complex things. When we communicate we are not only exchanging information and thoughts. We also communicate emotional information which is conveyed through voice, gesture and facial expression. These elements add to our communication attempts In ways that conveys a deeper level of information.
Unfortunately, the nature of texting does not allow for easy and efficient communication of emotions and nuances of feeling. Although it is very suited to conveying thoughts but it is not very good at conveying unconscious elements, which may accompany our thoughts. When we speak our voices can be monotonous or we could have a smiling voice, gentle voice, angry voice, a doubtful voice or a worried voice. Although smiley use may convey part of this information, they are very blunt instruments when it comes to expressing how we feel about what we think. There are some obvious consequences to this problem.
Firstly, sometimes people say things in a humorous way meaning to say a joke, but a joke may fall flat when the emotions of the voice and in the face and gesture are unexpressed. People use jokes when emotions are charged to deflate a difficult interaction. But jokes can seem sarcastic and lead to further charging. Therefore, arguments and disagreements can be poorly conducted using the medium of text. The use of a smiley allows us to convey part of our conscious feelings but do not facilitate the unconscious thoughts and processes available in face-to-face communication. Accordingly, communication can fall flat. I know some people who have broken relationships because of this problem. It is always better to communicate face-to-face. Texts ate better used to convey factual information or very basic conversation. Certainly, lovers should only use texting to convey place time and date information. Even the use of "xxx" or "❤" can be misconstrued and loaded, because these symbols arrive cold onto the receiver's screen, unaccompanied by the nuances of the unconscious mind that modulate them and make them truly meaningful.
Then there is the problem of time. Admittedly it is mostly a thrill to receive a text. I love receiving them. The problem is, people send texts during a break or when they have free time to people who might be on the go, or engaged in a task that requires their full attention; or they may be asleep; or their phone has discharged; or they may be working out; or engaged in any number of activities. That means they cannot reply immediately, and that timing mismatch could cause the sender to worry that they may have been dismissed. That is because silence carries no information, and the sender is then uncertain as to the cause of a non response and may then engage in negative story-telling to themselves in the absence of feedback.
Related to this, is the issue of intrusiveness. Most people, especially introverts, need time to recover from social interactions, and this has always been achieved by saying "good-bye", "catch ya later", "until we meet again". Pauses between friends and lovers allow for each to recover, experience their own lives, and subsequently have news to share when they next encounter each other. It also allows sensitivity to each to be reset and for missing and longing to be activated. However, texting could interfere with this process and create a sort of familiarity which could, in some cases, lead to contempt. We all need some privacy, now and again.
And of course, never forget the ever-present danger of sending a text to the wrong person! Examples are legion on the net, and some can be quite funny!
I have a hierarchy of communication media starting with the most effective to the least effective:
(A) Face-to-face
(B) video-conferencing
(C) telephone
(D) Letter writing on paper
(E) E-mail
(F) Texting/SMS
Interestingly, the media towards the top of the list require more commitment and energy than those towards the bottom. When communicating with another person or persons, it is always important to consider which of the communication media is best suited and most efficient to convey your message clearly and effectively.
Finally, I would ask you to seriously consider if it is worth the trouble arguing or settling disputes in the medium of text.
