Every tree has rings that represent annual growth as the seasons alternate between times of plenty and times of scarcity. In Summer, there is pletny of light, warmth and nutrition, while in Winter, cold keeps only the most basic functions of the tree alive, slowing growth and allowing only for the basic life functions to continue. The outer rings represent the newest growth and are closest to the surface of the tree, while the more archaic growth lies deeply buried within the core of the tree. Humans are not that different from trees. What you see on the surface is the most recent self, newly formed and representing the self as it exists within the present; but what is hidden, is a long line of nested archaic selves, each of whom is as fully alive as the outer form. Each of us is therefore both like a tree and a Russian Matryoshka doll; a set of nested selves, each of whom is fully alive and influencing how the current self, the outermost Matryoshka doll is functioning.
How can this be? Surely I am not many selves? Of course that is true. Each of us is an undivided unity of being; but like the single tree, there is a dendrochronology - a tree time in which the layers of the self together allow the present self to emerge, whole and apparently coherent. However, there are many of who do not always feel very whole or coherent. There may be a sense that there is something about the inner rings, or perhaps the not-so-inner rings that seems wrong. Somehow or other, it may seem that these rings have not laid themselves down in a manner allowing for each new ring to rest peacefully and neatly upon the last. It may be that one of the Matryoshka dolls embedded within the larger current self is unhappy, for lo -- we hear it crying bitterly and secretly from within the belly. Or it may remain silent until it finds itself in the vulnerability of loving another.
The inner selves, particularly those from an earlier, more helpless and vulnerable time, may not have received the care, nurturance and kindness that they were rightfully expecting. Perhaps, instead of nurturing, they received a slap, or worse, a beating when they cried. Or perhaps, expecting to be fed, were left for long swathes of time to experience unremitting hunger or thrist. Or perhaps they were frightened and unable to deal with the loneliness brought on by neglect; or perhaps they were exposed to constant conflict between their main caregivers. By being abused or neglected; by not learning to trust, these little inner babushkas froze in time and now will not stop crying. We hear their muffled cries through the dendrochronological layers, but instead of listening to their suffering, we shut their cries out with: cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, music, sex, overeating, novels, movies, chocolate and parties. This is a sad thing because that inner babushka needs to be heard and it also needs minding and care; and if it never received enough of what it needed back then, it is in the interests of the outer Matryoshka to somehow take care of its needs in the present.
Here's the thing. We are not trees; nor are we painted wooden dolls. We are multi-dimensional flesh-and-blood human beings who have our joy or suffer in the present moment, and is only in the present that healing may occur. It can only occur as the present, ongoing self makes loving contact with that archaic inner child.
Ask yourself: if my younger four-year old self (or any other age) was here with me right now, what would he or she want? What might they say? What would he or she need? What material things could I give that child? What emotional needs could I meet? What assurances are needed? Perhaps you will be surprised by the reality of this little you and the answers you might receive. Bobby Deep can always imagine the clothing of his inner little boy.
Love that little child at whatever age it appears to you; be aware of its flesh and blood presence. The inner child is not a theoretical construct, but a living being; and it would do you well to take care of this child who may be influencing your overall wellbeing from the inside out.
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